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Hookers Anonymous

Kate Simmons - Hello, my name is Kate, and I'm a prostitute. --Hi, Kate.-- Recovering prostitute, I should say. Straight out of school and scared of the streets, I took the first and only job offer that came my way: an ever shriveling title with an ever swelling list of responsibilities. I had graduated with the last wave of idealistic print journalists. Even my college advisor tried to dissuade me: "You... continue

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Lawful Venom: A Survival Story

Amy Wilson - Anna Elkins, Attorney at Law, glared at me with piercing brown eyes and thickly coated charcoal eyelashes after berating me angrily for not setting the voicemail system correctly the night before. I was so unnerved by this harsh and unexpected outburst that I inadvertently forgot to remove the staples from the pile of documents I was shoving into the photocopier – documents she was standing... continue

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I am Out from the Dead Rat-Like Smell

elong - I am Out from the Dead Rat-Like Smell I landed a job that does social and land research which means frequent traveling around my country. On my first trip with my Research General Manager he asked me personal things. Though I didn’t like to answer his questions, he always reminded me that he was an ex-military in his country and forced me to share my personal information with him. I was outraged... continue

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Concierge, ready to serve

Maltravers - Being laid off, and getting a degree in PR in a city that prefers them barely post-pubescent, I was glad to get a job as a concierge in a downtown hotel... continue

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Who's in Charge Here?

Bep Kororoti - I began working at L's Deli in February of 2007. Having worked in a bagel cafe in my teens and a few odd years in a supermarket deli, I had more than enough training for the clerk position I had applied for. My duties were simple: ask customers what I could get them, oblige with a smile, ring them up giving them the right change, thank them for their patronage, and when there were no customers,... continue

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Is That The Sun?

Cheryl P. - From March 1998 to January 1, 2002, I worked for the most impossibly difficult human being who ever walked the planet. His name was Bob. Bob owned and ran a small (only about seven employees) entertainment marketing research firm. I was one of three harried staff writers whose job it was to write focus group questionnaires and then make some semblance out of disorganized and pitiful responses... continue

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Training Stupid

Avi - After graduation, my law school put me in contact with a firm where an alumnus was partner. I set up the meeting and put on my Sunday best. I was given the job as a favor to the school and assigned to the senior partner for training. Mike was older, in his mid-fifties. He was built like a high school football coach; short, fat and sturdy. “Hi Stupid.” Mike greeted me sardonically. “It’s time to... continue

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The Man with the Eight Hundred Dollar Resume

J.Fain - I answered an ad for a resume writer, and met my future boss, who I’ll call “Erik Zee.”A tall guy with a friendly smile, in a perfectly tailored, expensive suit, Erik praised my writing samples, told me he needed good writers to fulfill his plans for expanding the business. He showed me the mock-up for the full-page ad he was placing in the Yellow Pages of other cities around New England, his... continue

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To The Elevator Shaft You Go

Fall4U - Heading towards the end of my work day and as the clock neared 3 a.m., my heart started beating faster. I felt a cold sweat coming on. I listened intently for the sounds of footsteps or the drumming of fingers on my office wall. Was I to make it safely through the dark, winding tunnel and down to the security office? Was my imagination on overdrive, or was there someone lurking outside my... continue

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Bombshell

C.E. Jones - Bombshell I was rinsing out the last of Blonde Bombshell #27 when the pager went off for a down town fire, and – barefoot, with my toenails freshly painted - I still made it to the station before the chief. Not that it made any difference. I was jumping into my gear when he hit the door, and his scowl would have deflated me if I hadn’t been braced for it. “Do something with that hair!” Come on,... continue

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Dream Job or Nightmare?

Mukta - I sat in the van and cried. It was the only place I could find to be alone, away from both group members and mosquitoes. It was one of those this-can’t-really-be-happening moments.Leading cross-country bicycle tours had been my dream job, but my dream had turned into a nightmare. Hours earlier, my boss Ellen had told me to fire our errant support vehicle driver, Rachel, who wasn’t willing to... continue

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Hell In Any Language

poodlepup - In my 35 years in the workforce I’ve had many, many jobs from hell, but this one may take the cake. I met Gus when he was a customer of mine at a wholesale electronics company. He was a small retailer selling cellular phones in Atlanta in the 1990s. As a customer he was pleasant, congenial, and paid on time. Working on commission at this place nearly caused a breakdown, so when Gus offered me... continue

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Working for the Happy COW

virgomomwriter - I was thrilled when I was hired to work for one of my heroines, though more than one person told me she was impossible. I ignored them, as well as the uneasiness I felt when I realized, after starting the job, that I had been lied to about office facilities, benefits, salary, and staff turnover. I was working for someone to whom I was personally grateful, a pioneer in her field, a heroine to... continue

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Wine and White Boards

ESL Teacher - Ugh…another bottle of wine gone bad. This is the last time I’m going to play the grateful employee when “Pasquale” presents me with a jug of something that he knows has been sitting around his house for too many a hot summer. A gift-giving boss, wow, sounds ideal. Pasquale, however, brings new meaning to the phrase, “It’s the thought that counts.” No amount is too trivial when he pulls the... continue

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Swim in the Kool-Aid...Or Else

LC - “Please, sit. The president of this company thinks very highly of you,” he smiled toothily. I noticed that the size of his large, square head was matched by his hair, a large brown poof seemingly tamed by Brill cream and the result of a hair dryer at the same time. It was curious. He had large brown eyes that were dull, like the hollow of snail shells, and a sloping chin that jutted out like... continue

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Special Projects

FreddyJackson - As a young man, I had my own lawn and garden business. I used to clip grass and spread mulch and do much bigger jobs like chop down acres of out-of-control blackberry bushes. Some jobs were easy and some had more thorns than I could handle.It was hard work and I got dirty and I loved it; partly because a physical job was a perfect opportunity for me to get out of my head, where I spent too much... continue

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Be My Mommy?

gyps808 - My boss was the CEO of a mortgage company that he built with money earned from years in the subprime mortgage industry. He loved to drink, party, spend money and do drugs. He had no problem blaming me for his behavior, including missing an AM appointment after boozing the night before, picking up a girl at the bar and sleeping in until 11am. “Can I ask what exactly do you want from me in this... continue

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MY NUMBER WAS UP

Gloriaggm - MY NUMBER WAS UP Numbers are not my forte. Perhaps because I’m a bit dyslexic and digits, invariably, become transposed. Whatever the reason I certainly didn’t belong in an accounting firm entering data. But it was the only job I could get after my unemployment ran out. Submissively, I let myself be hi-jacked by that little band of mathematical demons. My boss was one of... continue

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Namaste’ Becomes Catastrophe

Siddhartha - Bamboo floors, statues of Buddha and Ganesh, Ting-sha bells, burning candles, sounds of flowing fountains and scents of warm tea filled the corporate office of a yoga company whose owner, my boss, is by all accounts the ‘Queen of the Damned’ jobs. Yoga is a way of life but it also an industry and in an environment within that industry, you might expect to find peace, patience, love, compassion,... continue

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Dumb, Dumber & Clueless

Harper Crane - I worked as a paralegal for a real estate development company. The partners were three rednecks who did work hard but mostly, tripped over dumb luck. They couldn’t go to the restroom without each other. This isn’t an exaggeration. I guess someone had to pass out the toilet paper. I have affectionately named them Dumb, Dumber and Clueless. DUMBThe reason why I ended up at this company was... continue

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Thank You, Culiseta Longiareolata (or, Everything I Know About Adaptation I Learned From my Boss, The Bloodsucker)

janet.g - Dear Culiseta Longiareolata, You were my first boss at my first “real” job after graduating from college, and I have to admit I didn’t recognize you right away. All I knew was that you had a need for an administrative assistant at the nonprofit organization you ran, and that you had been around for about 30 million years. So I thought I could learn a lot from you. Now that I think about it there... continue

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Dirt Diggler

Kristina - My senior year of high school was going to be amazing. I qualified for “short day” which meant that I only needed four classes to graduate. Given our modular schedule, that equated to four hours of class on Monday and Tuesday and three the rest of the week. I told my parents about this and my mom said I must find a job before she would sign the permission slip. I agreed with her, but since I... continue

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Maybe She's Manic

nkoehler - “Who told you to do that?” My boss, whom I’ll refer to as Michelle, screamed.“You did. It’s number three on your list” I said with trepidation, holding the sheet she authored and gave explicit instruction to follow without question.She said nothing, huffed and walked away.I had been a Supplier Integrations Manager for an eRetail company for two weeks. My job entailed acquiring supplier data... continue

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Everyone Loved Chuck!

Trainer - My third job out of graduate school was a doozy! The company was owned by Chuck. He was quite the charmer. Chuck was about 5’6” and he was round. He had the middle-aged hair style where one long wisp of hair was pushed over an ever receding hairline. Usually Chuck wore loafers with pants that were too long, un- pressed and sloppy. Chuck was overweight. And always Chuck was late.Yet Chuck... continue

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Get your wife to clean it!

NELoop820 - Working for a non-profit will sometimes have great benefits. One of the perks my organization received was a building. Yes, an entire building for our new offices. It wasn’t huge; just a little over 800 square feet (three rooms, one small conference room, a supply closet and a bathroom). This was a welcomed change to the windowless hostile that was being utilized by five people - one... continue

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